Merry Christmas

Hey Boys!  Looks like a nice four-day weekend is ahead of us. 

Catch me on here (mostly at night) over the holiday weekend ... I'll be under the mistletoe ready to kiss someone.  First cum, first serve.  :)   (Pun intended, Ho, Ho, Ho)

xxo Ashley

TGIW - Wanna Join Me Tonight?

I know ya'll are asking about that dreaded schedule - well the schedule is gone.  Truth is I had too many schedules and deadlines and something had to give.  For a free spirit like myself, it's just unhealthy to be held to so many schedules.  I'm more of a "I feel like doing this or that..." kinda' girl.

Spontaneity is a huge part of the my sexuality.  Scheduling and being spontaneous just don't mix.  So as far as scheduling goes, the best I can give at the moment is to let you know when I plan to be online that night. 

Due to some cosmic placements and other similar aspects 2014 twas he year that I was not in control of most of my life.  The universe took the wheel for a year (soon to be over), so if you've managed to find me online through the madness you can consider it kismet - it was meant to be.  If you've been swinging and missing like a one-armed batter at the plate, you've no doubt come close, but no hits. 

2015 will prove to be more fruitful (at least for me) and I'm looking forward too it.  But, I'm not one to give up just because the odds aren't in my favor.  That's why I thought I'd sign on tonight (around 9pm) and hopefully you and I can connect (wink).

Call me!

Thursday ... Memories ... Let's Make a Few

Like My Booties?

I had a cold re-lapse over the weekend ('cause I'm usually burning my buns to ground and I'm the fairer and weaker sex) so I wasn't able to sign on last weekend.  I'm not sure that if I did 1) you'd find my stuffy nose and soar throat sexy; and 2) that I had the energy to keep up with ya'll.  Admittedly I think the scratchy low-toned voice is sexy, but I couldn't eat more than a lollipop all weekend (and it was good).

How can I thank you all for amazing and wonderful emails and inquiries I just read on NF.  It makes a girl feel good to know she's missed and it also peaks my interest as to what may lay (lie?) ahead.  (Pun intended.)

You sure know how to make a girl feel special - and I do, so thank you.

Thursday
Anyway as for Thursday.  I think Thursday night is a necessity for me to be here - it's time to get back in the normal swing, so if you're around, look for me.  It's been a while and I'm definitely in the mood to play. 

But If you happen to miss me or find me busy (yes, please say yes), you can also find me here this weekend ... except Saturday early evening.  I'm going to the lake to watch and photograph the annual boat parade - it's so cool and since the entire town goes down to the water - out on the dock at the local restaurant or along the shoreline or in their boats, it's quite a social affair with lots of music, laughs and most likely moonshine (not the planetary kind).  Imagine two state's worth of locals on boats (fueled by gas and moonshine) with tons of holiday lights and a few Santas and some sexy lake elves (there's always a few boats with sexy lake elves) it's like a Hallmark movie I saw once (sans the sexy lake elves).  I love, love, love the Christmas boat parade - so nothing's stopping me from being out and about. 

Saturday Day and Night and Sunday Too!?
But like all family-oriented events, it will be an fairly early evening ... so if you're naughty and nice ... you just might find me here late Saturday night too.  But definitely I'll be on both mornings (Saturday and Sunday) and during the afternoon as well.

Ho, Ho, Ho, I've got mistletoe!  Let's have a holiday party of our own.  Hope you'll be around.

xxx Ashley

Wet Wednesday

Talk About Waking Up in a Fog 

Part of the reason - a big part of the reason that I like working from home is that it's cozy.  It's home.  And though many of you have commented on the fact that I don't look like your average "homebody," I am. 

But like you, the sun usually comes pouring in my window prodding me to get up and get moving.  In fact my bedroom window faces the rising sun, so unless I install some blackout curtains, there's no escaping it.  That's fine, I'm not the type to sleep in late - although I have been known to get up, drink coffee and then decide to go back to bed for a nap, especially when it's cold and rainy and foggy - like it is this morning.

The other thing clouding my brain this morning is that I had this really racy dream that had to do with NF and I wanted to wake up and blog about it.  And although it seemed like exactly the type of dream most of you would have wanted a front-row seat for, I'll be damned if I can remember it now. 

It really pays to have a pen and paper next to your bed to write down your dreams (even if they're practically illegible once you're awake).  Writing down your dreams can tell you a lot about what's going on in your life, and sometimes they're absolutely prophetic, but since my move, I've failed to put my room back to it's former comfy self with all the little things I like to have on hand. 

My original intention was to "de-clutter"  my life of all those little pieces of paper and unfiled ideas, but I've come to the conclusion that that's who I am - those little idea notebooks and little statues given to me by friends and family are like having my memories right in front of me every day.  So today, I'll be unpacking the last three boxes of my move - the one's marked "Unimportant."  What ever made me think they were unimportant?  They're actually the most important.  Things like the little satin heart someone stole for me while they were at Build-a-Bear.  Yes, even stolen items can be treasured possessions.

As for that dream, I'm working on recalling it.  Maybe after coffee number 2, the electrolytes my start firing off again.  For now I'll remain in my cozy, blissful, foggy state - it suits me.  C'mon, admit it, most of you wouldn't mind spending a little time with a girl who is wearing nothing more than a short little nighty and who is totally devoid of all brain function.  I think that would equal what's come to be affectionately called, "mindless fucking."  Oooh, I cursed; a quick, corrective spank on the ass will cure me of that ... SMACK ... there, all better.

Wednesday Night
In the meantime, I plan on being around on NF tonight, so if you're reading this I hope you'll find the time to call.  Look for me around 8:30/9:00 PM (East Coast).  Send me an email on NF that reads, "Read your blog," and I'll send you a few free minutes. 

Oh and a short note about emails.  It's a good thing - email - it keeps us in touch and it can even be good for coming up with a scenario before a call, but I should tell you that I don't have a lot of time to read long emails and respond in kind.  It's hard to answer emails while talking on the phone - at least not if you all want me to pay attention to you while on the phone.  As most of you know, I like to give my callers my undivided attention.  So if my responses are short and sweet, don't think I'm being snooty - that's not my style.  I try to respond to all of my emails (at least the ones that are written in English, take under a few minutes to read and don't involve things that are against "The Rules" of NF).   So be a good emailer and try to keep them relatively short (and naughty is cool too).  Thanks so much.

Good to be Back

It's Like Superbowl Sunday!

To answer the age-old question, "Does absence make the heart grow fonder," well the stats are still being compiled on that one, but as I've long suspected, absence does make something grow harder.

It was so nice signing on this morning and seeing tons of emails from friends and getting to chat with even more friends - all of whom I've missed a lot.  I've missed the fun that can only be had on NF.  I've missed posting on my blog and I'm just generally glad to be back (and on my back ... knees ... side ... desks, floors, bed, etc.  tee hee).

I'm glad I got to catch up with a lot of you before "game time."  If you don't see me online later today, look again - because I'll be back (this can be very addicting).

What I Really Want ... 

I want you to watch those football games today and get that testosterone bubbling to a boil and I'll be back later to help you burn off some steam (maybe in my cheerleader outfit).  Oh speaking of outfits, I did have some schoolgirl  fun today on the desk of a very naughty teacher who insisted that I watch a little dirty movie with him and mimic what I saw.  Funny thing was that it was a Catholic school scene and ironically, the girl was wearing the same uniform I wore to school - right down to the plaid pattern and the cross-snap tie (a tie which looks much hotter on a bare neck than it does wrapped around a button-down cotton blouse.)  

Well I'm taking a bit of a break ... but I'll be back later on ...
Hope you catch me here (and throw me down on the bed and show me just how much you missed me :)
xxo Ashley 

(oh I'm sooo naughty today ... wonder what got into me - tee hee)

Rumors of My Disappearance

... Have Been Greatly Exaggerated 

In fact, I'm back (in black) and sexier, kinkier and maybe even a little darker than before.

Cum play with me and let the fantasies fly.

I'll be around late Saturday night and I'll be around for part of Sunday morning too (wouldn't want to interrupt that ball game).  Think of me as the post- and pre-game entertainment.

Let's take a ride, hug the curves and cross the lines - I'm ready to rev it up!

xxo Ashley

Settled in and Time to Party - Happy Halloween

Getting Comfy Again

It's been a crazy couple of months - moving is no joke, not to mention all the paperwork involved.  Gosh, there for a minute I felt like I had a real 9-5 job again - perish the thought!

Time to Party!!!  It's Halloween!!!

But, today is Halloween - my personal favorite holiday, basically because I love to dress up in costumes.  Oh let's face it, I love fantasy and dressing up on any day of the year.  It's fun.  And isn't that why we're both here ... to have some fun?

Ever since I was young, I can't remember a holiday that has excited me more.  Not even Christmas.  Sure I love the sweets; who doesn't love some candy once in a while?

But for me, it's the whole mysterious "who is behind that mask" that's what gets me curious.  Plus, it adds to the excitement - you feel like  you've always gotta know what's happening around you - who might sneek up behind you?

And do you really care who might be behind that mask?  I can bet that if a girl wearing a bikini came up on you even wearing a Freddie Kruger mask, you'd be more "excited" than "scared."  Am I right?

I do love my sweets!  Yum

Unlike others this Halloween who will be answering doors and handing out candy while admiring the cute little, inventive costumes, I'll be behind my door waiting to give you a treat.  And all ya gotta do is knock (well ... ur, I mean call).  Maybe I'll even perform a trick or two.  (Tee Hee)

And since Halloween is on a Friday, I'll extend that invitation throughout the weekend.  We can play all the games you'd like - in return for some hard candy, that is.  Ya' got some for me?  I bet you do.

I bet I know why that pumpkin is grinning.










So, come by later ... and I'll give you a treat ... and you can bring me some candy too!  I'd love that. 

All About Ashley - Days, Nights and the Schedule

The Days, the Nights and the Dreaded Word: "Schedule"

When I first started on NF, I was a 9-to-5 girl, gainfully employed with a car payment and far too many bills and obligations for one girl to handle.  Since then, after becoming gainfully unemployed, I really fell into the NF world (as well as many other avenues) trying to find what I liked to do, that allowed me to do it when I felt like it.  Come on, who wouldn't want that?

The reality of it all is that doing what you want when you want can feel liberating, but there's still that sticky-wicket - you have to be an adult to meet your adult obligations (not to mention wanting to splurge occasionally on "nice things" like hair and clothes and ... well, you know ... toys).

News of My Demise - So Over the Top

Let me preface what I'm about to say with, I'm not leaving NF.  I've met a lot of good people, made some great friends and just had fun all the way around.  Not every moment was fun, but that's the same with any endeavor.  For the most part, I feel at home here.

The Executive Decision

The big news is I've decided that this isn't cutting it for me, and in order to do that grown-up thing, I've had to look to other more viable ways of following my dreams and becoming my own person while still using my time wisely.

I've picked the best mornings, evenings and days out of my NF past and decided to fit it into my schedule accordingly, while still leaving time for some time for things like sleep and getting out into the sunshine for some Vitamin D.  This is going to be a trial - we'll see if it works.  Typically I find having a schedule helpful, but it doesn't really apply to the NF world.  It's up, it's down - for a lot of reasons and I'd be a mathematical genius if I spent the time to figure out all the variables, but I've perused the stats and I've chosen some days and times that work with both NF and my life.

We're going to try this:

Mornings:  Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday

Evenings:  Thursday (plus weekends when available)

Now that's not to say that I won't be here more often than that.  I've left some wiggle room in my schedule.  And - I anticipate having some afternoons that I can throw in as well.

This is how it's going to be for a couple of weeks.  Things like holidays and football season and all that means that for you (and sometimes for me) I'll have to keep it pretty flexible.

But I wanted you to know that I haven't disappeared - I'm still here.  And I hope that you find some time that fits us both (nice and snug).

The Times They Are uhhh ... Changing

A Change in Schedule or a Publishing Snafu?
Okay, I know, the schedule's been posted all of 6 or 8 hours and already there's a change.  You know this schedule thing was not really my idea, but a suggestion (given to me by more than many of you) but I get it - it's to help me have some sort of semblance in my life.  Trouble is I already have another job that does require a schedule and to be honest with you, I'm feeling a little hemmed in.

I've told you guys - I'm practically like one of you (nothing to do with what's in the pants/panties) but commitment to a schedule kind of makes me feel like I'm wearing a ring that inextricably ties me to someone.  I get all jittery and sweaty just thinking about it.  Sure, I'm a "normal" girl and maybe commitment will be more "my thing," but at the moment, not so much.

Tuesday is probably the one day this week that there's no football on - oh wait, football is on every night isn't it?  I can take it or leave it, but Tuesday (of late) is Sons of Anarchy night.  It's a great show about a biker club that watches over it's little hamlet of Charming, California.

I've dated a biker before (not for very long though since I'm truthfully more of the martini and backseat of a Towne Car kinda girl) but it was fun.  But that's not what is so exciting about this show.  And if you've ever seen this show or you're looking it up now, I know you're going to say it's the main character, Jax.  Well, he is beyond hot, anyone can admit that.  The sixty-year old woman at the supermarket checkout was talking about him the other day like she would do him if he ever dared to walk through the door of her store.  I don't want to "out" the chain, so Jax, if you're ever in SC, just get someone else to buy your beer and soda, that lady is old enough to be your grandma.

And while typically I go for darker-haired, older guys, his blond locks are actually something to shake a leg at, and a tail and a boob or too.  OMG.  Oh, sorry, I lost track of my thought process there for a moment.

It's actually the writing, the storyline, the plot, the OMG moments that totally blow everyone out of the water that I like.  And, unfortunately, it's the last season.  Sure, there's DVD, but it's just not the same.  With a DVD there's no one to call or text while the show is on ... no shared moments of shock and awe (as there are many in this show, especially since it's the last season).

Well, Jax may not be the only reason I won't be here tonight, but I think my schedule is pretty damn full as it is, so I'm hoping it accommodates ya'll. 

Hope to talk soon ... ciao for now.
xxo Ashley

Desire and Deliverability

When Energetic Motivation Meets the Wall

The last few weeks have been C-R-A-Z-Y to say the very least.

Between a trip three hours to north and then a move ten hours to the south the following week - I've been a little out of sorts.  Thanks goodness I don't have a "real job."

To say the least, I have a million things I want to do, need to do and then there's the "hit-the-wall" factor.  I can take a lot of stress and pressure and then I suddenly fold like a house of cards.  Last night was one of those nights. 

Did you ever take a nap on the couch and wake up in a half-waking sleep stupor?  You can barely get your ass up to get to bed - a real bed and your brain is telling you, "to hell with everything else."  That was me last night.  I was gonna sign on at 9pm figuring that would give me time to relax a little after a long day that actually started on NF at 8am.  I woke up on the couch at 9:10pm and realized that I would be useless as a crazy, wanton sex toy.  I was also too out of it to write a blog post explaining myself, so I just didn't sign on.  Bad, bad girl.  That's me!

Moving is no joke.

Good news is, today I'm feeling like my usually naughty self.  Bad news is that it's football season, so most of you guys will be preoccupied with games of all types - college, pro, etc.  For those of you who are planning on watching from the sidelines, may I suggest a closer look at those tempting little cheerleader skirts ... if you look close enough, you'll see me.  I'm the one jumping up and down, jiggling my pom-poms and showing off my skinny little thongs.

Wanna get into my panties?  Then checkout my "half-time" schedule and meet me in the bleachers (or the locker room shower if you prefer).

xo

Back in the Saddle

Ready to Ride

I just got off of my first call in what seems like weeks.  With all of the shuffling and moving and traveling that I've been doing of late, it was good to finally feel the warm rush of orgasmic bliss again!

I still don't feel like "myself" yet, but this morning quickly gave me a taste of what I've been missing and of course, once you have a taste of bliss you always want more and more (and more). 

(A special thanks to my very talented friend :)

Fan Mail

I've not only been "blissed" but I've been blessed with a bunch of NF friends emailing me and wishing me well and telling me how much I'm missed.  Believe me, I've missed you all too.  I've made some really good friends on NF and I consider myself one lucky girl.

I should be back to writing blogs soon and - oh yeah - updating my schedule (tee hee).  It's been a struggle to get settled, unpacked and re-stocked - everything seems to need immediate attention, but now that things are falling back into place, I'm ready to devote my attention back to NF and all of my naughty, like-minded, sex-minded friends.

In fact, I think I'll fix-up my schedule right now so that I don't miss any more fun. 

One thing I have to take care of is finding the box in which I hid my toys.  I wrapped them up good and put the box in a box so the movers wouldn't accidentally find them (could you imagine - maybe I would have gotten a discount on the move, who knows).

Well, off to find that box ... look for me later and don't forget to check out my schedule.

Giddy-up!

Ya' Gonna' Miss Me!

The Date Approaches

Well, perhaps you've seen my schedule (and noticed that I missed Tuesday night - I passed out).  This moving stuff is exhausting.  Juggling jobs and moving and all kinds of crazy stuff is a bit stressful, so I could really probably use a good schtooping to knock the stress out.

In case you're interested - check my schedule.  I'll unfortunately be gone this weekend - a last hurrah with the girls before I leave on Thursday.  So you can find me here tonight or tomorrow - Friday and Saturday I'll be gone and I'll be back Sunday evening, although I'm not sure what time but I will be signing on.  You could really help me make some needed cash for this move and get something special in return (wink).

Next week I'll be here on Monday and Tuesday - Wednesday is moving out day so no promises but check in for updates if you're interested - Wednesday night I have to sleep at a friend's house (no bed at my house) and Thursday I'll be on the road all day.  My internet gets hooked up on Friday next week (27th) and by the weekend I'll be back in the saddle again.  Hopefully we can hook up.

If I had to give anyone advice on moving (of which now I believe I'm an expert) I'd say never move during football season.  You guys can always call at half-time :).

xxo Ashley

Is it Really Saturday?

The Weekend Forecast
It was pretty warm last night, but it quickly turned to a pre-arctic chill.  My G/Fs and I were hanging out outside, eating, laughing, doing selfies and group shots and just generally celebrating.  I'm leaving in a week in a half, so until one of us comes to visit the others, we won't be hanging out for a while.  By "others" I mean I'll be moving closer to another member of our little group.  So, when we can all get together it's awesome - and generally loud with a lot of laughing.

Saturday?  Is it really?  Thanks to the cloudy skies and unseasonably early chilly temps, plus a few weeks of packing and picking up boxes, this girl slept late today.  Basically, I got up close to the time I was scheduled to sign-off of NF.  LOL.

Oh well, it seems like a lot of people slept late today.  It feels good to do it when you can.

Since the day/weekend got off to a late start, I'm thinking I'll be up and moving late today, so there's a chance I may make an unplanned appearance on NF.  Shoot me an email on NF if you think you'll be around.  Personally, I'm not going anywhere today, so chances are good that your weekend (and mine) will end with a truly sunny disposition.

Ciao for now,

xxo Ashley

Playing Hooky

Sleeping Beauty
Remember the story of Sleeping Beauty?  Well, I'm using her as an excuse to play hooky tonight from NF, but in all honesty, I'm too worn out to even work that intro into a sentence.  And apparently too tired to just delete it and start this blog over.  Tonight, it is what it is, bad writing and all.

Not that I'm a beauty tonight by any means.  Between boxes, newspapers (which I hate to touch) and bubble wrap and packing tape, I feel like I've earned my Mover's Union stripes.  Pack, lift, repeat.

I've been working and packing around the clock getting ready for a move.  Of course that move is near month's end and it just happens to fall a few days before my annual weekend mountain getaway, so it's safe to say that I'm also slightly stressed.  To be quite honest, I'm just worn out and I wouldn't be much fun tonight - and you know how I hate to disappoint.

So even though you may be temporarily disappointed that I'm playing hooky, you have to admit it's better than being disappointed in bed. 

But this "beauty" (if you could see me now with my hair piled on top of my head and my ass cheeks hanging out of my shorts and my hands covered in newsprint) needs to take a hot, hot shower for her sore muscles and clean this moving crap up from the floor so I don't get up in the middle of the night and slip and fall, and then I'm gonna crash into my bed - so I can wake up refreshed and ready to take on tomorrow (and take on anything you got).

I hope ya'll (just trying out my new accent) will be around tomorrow or this weekend so we can play.  Friday, as you may have noticed on my schedule, is up in the air.  Friday morning and afternoon are out - my girls want to hang before I leave and we're praying for one last sunny, hot pool day (I need a tan).  Please, please, please let there be Sun.

But since Friday's a day thing, I doubt that I'll be out all night (who knows though), so I might be here, and I'll be sure to let you know if I am.

So really, that leaves us with Thursday night, Saturday and Sunday mornings (and probably extra time) for this week.  So call me.  You can help me fund my move - it's a bit expensive - and I'm not cheap, but I am worth it. :) 

Waking Moments

Pillow Soft

Like a lot of you guys, I often wake up feeling "in the mood."  It's part of the reason that I like to be around in the mornings on weekends.  Not a late sleeper, I find myself getting up early whether or not I have stuff to do and no matter what day it is, but when it comes to the weekends (like today - a sleepy Sunday) it's not unlikely that I will drink coffee and get back into bed for a little bit.

I don't know what it's like to be a guy (duh), but I can tell you as a girl who wakes up feeling the urge often, your bed never feels more comfortable than it does when you're just about to rise from it.  And weekends (or rainy days) are the perfect excuse to stay in bed just a little bit longer than usual.

The pillow gets fluffed up and your head just sinks back into it.  Your hand naturally gravitates to your pillow-soft breasts - they just love being touched and lightly squeezed in the morning.  Preferably you're waking up being spooned and fondled by a huge pair of man-hands, but in the absence of such a luxury, getting in touch with yourself is a not-so-bad alternative.  Tee hee.

What a Girl Wants

Well, as luck would have it, as I was writing this post, I had my dreams fulfilled.  It kind of makes me wonder about the power that this blog might hold in making my dreams come true - hmmmmm.

A very good (and sexy) friend who appeared just as I was writing this just happened to mention how he'd love to stay in bed a little longer this morning.  And another thing he expressed which I was just about to expound upon in this post, was his desire to spoon my body and fondle my breasts.  O-M-Goodness!

This girl got exactly what she wanted (sans the catnap - although that's still a possibility).  Not only did I get exactly what I wanted, with a person who is always in-sync with me, but I think he got what he was looking for as well.  I believe so; he said so.  Quite honestly, every time we're together it's just sweet serendipity.  (Yeah, you know who you are - chuckles.)

Well, time is moving on so I'll save the nap for after - like when I actually get something beside blog posting accomplished.  More packing - then a 2pm date with the guy that owns the local convenience store.  He promised me a hook up with some free newspapers for packing.  (Yeah, nothing is "free;" we all know that, and I have a good idea that newspapers aren't all he's packing.)  Tee hee.

Maybe after some packing and napping I'll feel the need to sign back on.  Drop me a note on NF if  you'd like to join me later.

xxo

Party at the Retirement Community

Labor Day Festivities

While most of you will be spending this weekend away or having parties with friends and neighbors in the pool celebrating the last unofficial day of summer, I'll be at my family's annual Labor Day barbeque at my Aunt's house.

If you think I'm attending a party where all will be meek and mild, think again.  Those retirees are wild and out of control.

Aside from the NY and NJ chapters of the Ashley Kink family, my aunt and uncle also invite their local cronies.  My uncle's poker pals, the local single gals from "The Club" and various and sundry neighbors all of whom drink, eat and gossip with abandon - every day, all day.

If you ever wondered why the people living in those retirement communities seem to end their Saturday evenings a few hours after the early bird special, it's because they've been partying since the wee hours of the morning while the rest of us are getting ready for work.  And I don't think they stop 'til they drop, literally.

No one in my family drinks much, yet each of us has a bottle to bring to the party as instructed by my aunt and uncle.  Why?  Because those retirees, who are probably on a fistful of meds already, love to drink and let loose.  They get loud and silly and flirt with each other and it's a crazy scene to watch and an even crazier scene to be a part of.

The last time I partied with the geriatric set, I went home holding my stomach.  It hurt so much from continually laughing so hard.  The 70-and-older set were lined up and leaning on my cousin's kitchen island and we drank 3/4 of a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue - in successive shots.  Yes shots.  These people don't play around - they are serious about their partying.

You thought your party days were over after college or high school?  Personally, if I've got to get old, I want to get old enough to be so carefree as to show up at anyone's house armed with "party favors" and having my only worry be whether or not I should have brought the second bottle.  Of course I'll have to acquire a taste for daily partying, something I've never been able to handle, but think about it - you can hop in your golf cart and roll over to your neighbor's house and act a complete fool and the worse that will happen is people will say, "Aw ... she's cool; she knows how to party."  LOL

Well I guess I'm off to have some fun.  I'll be sure to fill you in on any dirty old men that happen to brush their hands across my ass or wiggle past me while I'm forced to lean my back against the counter with their faces in my tits - I speak only from experience; I kid you not. 

The Bon Vivant and the Bon-Bons

What a Gloriously Sweet Life it is

I just had a call that reminded me of a subject I wanted to cover a while back.  For whatever reason, it got put on the back-burner, but thankfully this particular call jolted it back into my brain (via my throat).

I'm sure that many guys, and girls for that matter, think that the life of a PSO is a marathon of lazy, luxurious fun, laying around all day engaging various orifices in various forms of play, touch, tickle and tease.  And for the record - they would be wrong.  Yes, I'm playing when I'm playing, but I'm not lying around in a teddy waiting for the next fuck to come along.  I actually do things in my off-call times (like this blog post).

Although I enjoy bringing pleasure to people's lives through adult conversation (I've met some really smart people and some accomplished writers on here to mention a few) (because we all know that the brain is my favorite body part), I also enjoy acting.  Playing parts through role play is always fun, especially if it's a subject I'm interested in as well, and being the seductive siren is always fun (see my post from yesterday), but one thing I'm definitely not doing is lying around eating Bon-Bons in between calls.

I really hate being judged - especially when I never judge anyone else no matter what their particular fetish or proclivity.  If I don't like it; I don't do it, but I don't judge anyone.  If anything I'll just sweetly tell callers like that that I don't want to waste their money or time and let them go off to find what they're looking for.

There's a Method to This Madness

Today someone called.  Meek and mild at first, he was just stroking his cock and I offered to take over and let him relax and enjoy.  As we advanced to the next level ... I could hear what I intuitively hear almost every time I'm on a call - the real desire.  I'm really good at tapping into people's fantasies and voice intonations and I do my best to make those desires come to life, but then this call took a dirty turn - it got personal.

Apparently, I'm a "dirty phone sex whore who does nothing all day but lay around and take money from men."  And apparently, that's also ALL I'm good at.  Really?  You've known me for five minutes and you managed to come up with that in-depth, yet severely misinformed calculation?  You must be a genius!

It continued for a minute or so more while I waited for him to become equally as in-tune and pick up on the fact that I wasn't really feeling the personal attack.  Finally it wound up in a thumb wrestle between me and my phone's "end" button - I won.  Yes, I hung up on him.  Gasp!

I'm not here to hang up on people, in fact, that is the very opposite reason for my being here.

I really hate hanging up on people.  I even told him by email the reason I hung up and offered to start over again, since in the beginning everything was going so well (until it took a sharp left, crash and burn drop-off turn into hell).  And I really hate that I let it get to me, but I think I was an adult about it.  I gave him an out and I even gave him a way back in.

While I'm writing this post, he's probably penning some scathing feedback.  Which would also mean that his hard-on is now deflated because he's too busy giving this "dirty phone sex whore" a bad name.  Does a name get any worse than "dirty phone sex whore?"  I think not.

What he failed to tell me was that he probably packs dog food in cans by hand for a living or shovels horseshit into 40-foot trailers all day - but it's probably best, because then I'd have something to judge him about.  He had the unfair advantage - he assumed he knew what I did for a "living."  My NF friends know that this is not my only endeavor.  Too bad Mr. Dirty didn't stop to think about that.  Too bad all he wanted to do was make me feel bad.  He did neither - he just pissed me off.

I just wanted to clear the record, in case he happened to find my 4x4 "Read My Blog" banner.  And I wanted to clear my name.  I may be a fun-loving, no-strings kind of girl, but I'm no "dirty phone sex whore."  Oh, did I mention that I called him a "dirty phone sex caller" in return - yes I did.  Another move not great for business, but I doubt that he'll be reporting me to the BBB.

Friday nights have never been good for me on NF, but since I'm funding a move, I've tried to add more time into my schedule.  I should have listened to my numerology report that told me that anything done in the pursuit of making money this year was going to be a crap shoot, which, ironically, is also where my lovely caller put his cock right before he put it in my mouth (eewww) - I don't do that.  Just goes to show you that when you compromise your standards, all bets are off.

It's a shame.  And it's a shame that men and women aren't held to the same "Slut Standard."  There are though, thank goodness, some men out there though who understand that girls just wanna have fun like they do.  It can be sweet and romantic, or witty and engaging, it can even be downright dirty, but it should always be fun and it should never become a character assassination.

I know that there are girls on here that get into that and plenty of guys that can provide it - no judgment, it's just not me.  Nowhere on my listings does it say, "I want you to make me feel like crap please."  (I actually saw that on a listing once.)

Cest la vie.  The phone is quiet, as I suspected on this holiday weekend.  Guess I'll hit the freezer and crack open a new container of Bon-Bons and call it a night.  Yeah right.

Actually, it is slow, so I'm signing off.  But I'll be around later maybe.  If you want me, you can always email me - I'm pretty sure I'll be checking it later.

And this is probably a really good time to let all of my regulars and all of the special people I get to meet each day are people I consider friends.  No matter how kinky we get, we're all just here for a good time.

Say My Name, Say My Name

Communication with Words Can be Hot - Even for a PSO

On NF, occasionally I get an opportunity to "take the wheel and drive," as they say.  Not in a dominant sense, but in a sound-restricted sense - as in, "My girl is in the next room.  I can't really say anything, is that okay?" 

Don't gasp in horror thinking I'm outing anyone here, more than a few of you guys tell me the same thing.  Of course, I can't help myself, I usually reply with, "What?" even when I've heard your whispered query loud and clear.  It makes me giggle when I hear your breath stutter as if you really don't want to have to repeat yourself - and since I'm not in a sound-restricted area, I often do giggle.  I'm not a total brat, I usually interject before you have to repeat it.  I'm just getting in the mode of being the pilot - it's my first step in taking control (something I don't usually do).

It's perfectly fine with me, I get to seduce and suggest - I'm cool with being seductive.  I actually kind of like having that kind of power sometimes.  And it's a challenge to keep you entertained on a consistent basis - one I think I handle wonderfully if I do say so myself.  Anyway, it's hot.  Especially when the only sound I can make out is your breathing - deep, slow, guttural, faster, shorter, and then, my validation, the "Big Sigh."  It makes me smile.  I must admit, I've always been good at voices, but lately being able to intuitively feel what's going on on your end of the phone just by the sound of your breath is becoming a real gift.  It's a good gift to have; I'm grateful.

Having to be Quiet - The Sounds of Silence
The whole idea of being quiet during sex is a challenge, that is if it's the kind that's good enough to make you scream.  I remember when I was in high school and I snuck my first boyfriend into my room late one night.  My parents were in the room next to us and when I think of their ability to hear a pin drop, I often wonder how I ever got away with it.  But the exciting part was the chance that we might be caught.  It was a turn on then for me - but now, some 14 years later ... not so much (eeewww I can't even think about doing that again.  But it was certainly hot then.  We were both 18, he was my first real full-time, 3-year boyfriend and we couldn't keep our hot little hands off of each other.

And then of course you're trying even harder than usual to make your partner moan.  You do things to them that you know drive them completely bonkers and you amp it up even more.  Then that makes you (me) giggle, which is even harder to suppress than a moan - well sometimes anyway.

When you're 18, you have to be silent so you don't wake up the family or the family dog; when you're a little older, you're usually worried about being caught by your kid or your roommate - or both (I have neither); and as I've learned through NF, when you're older, you're usually trying to keep quiet so your GF or SO (significant other) doesn't hear you.  Whatever the reason, whatever the age, it's a hot scenario when you think you might get caught.  It's exciting and it makes the blood rush to your head (and other places as well).

The intensity is electric, the climax is hotter - it's just damn good silent sex all the way around.

Got a situation?  Can't talk?  I'm your girl.  As long as you can email or whisper, your next tsunami is just a phone call away.  Call me. :)

Stress-Induced Sleep

The Best Night's Sleep You'll Ever Have

Upon waking up this morning I received an "Ugggg" email - that's what he said, not what I said.  The "Ugggg" was an expression of frustration at me not being on this morning at 8 o'clock as my schedule promised.   I had to apologize, but told him it was sheer exhaustion that kept me in bed.

As a matter of fact it was that same exhaustion that made me sign on and quickly sign off last night.  And really my day started out so well - in fact, the week itself was going so well.

I checked my email several times last night, and since no one seemed to be missing me, I thought I'd go to bed and catch up on some sleep.  What I didn't count on was being so wired that I couldn't sleep.  I tossed and turned for hours until I wanted to pull my hair out.  And yes, I think having my hair pulled (not too roughly) is hot, but tugging on your own hair ... kinda' different sensation.

I finally relented (albeit a little late) to take a "PM" pill and it worked it's magic quickly.  But since it was so late, all I could do this morning was open my eyes at the time I'd usually wake up just to close them again for "five minutes" and finding out that five minutes was actually and hour and a half later.  Wow - how did that happen?

Well, what is it that they say, "You can never go back"?  So I guess I can't go back and re-do Wednesday night or wake up earlier this morning ... but I can move forward.  (Truthfully, we all know I move forward, backwards and sometimes side-to-side, tee-hee.)

So stop by and visit me tonight.  I will be here.  :) Thanks.

It's Hard ...

to Keep a Schedule When Life Keeps Getting in the Way ...

Oh ... you thought I was gonna say something else, didn't you? 

Well the reason I mention it being so hard ... is that really I just had to adjust my schedule.

Life is about choices ... I may choose to be a NF girl, but I really don't choose to tell many people my business, so when "stuff" comes up, it's really HARD for me to make plausible excuses.

But you know what ... even though it's been a stressful couple of weeks with work and non-work stuff, I have to say the upside of that is that my orgasms are much stronger, deeper and much more appreciated (by me ... and hopefully you).

I just updated my schedule for the week (back to that life thingy), so be sure to click on my Schedule button and find out when you can find me here.  I love a good game of hide and seek - it's still thrills me to get caught!
xxo

Dating Naked?

What's Next?  NF TV?

So, I've heard from a few of you lately (thanks for the emails).  Unfortunately, a lot of them were complaints.  What!?

No, I didn't get complaints about my phone sex or even my hours this time - this time it was complaints about my non-blogging of late.  It's true, I admit it.  (Well, no need to admit shit, since the blog would tell you anyway ... anyway.)

I've been in a writing frenzy actually, seems work has picked up in the freelance realm (fingers, toes and legs crossed). 

Today was certainly busy with various articles, some monthly billing and a conversation with an editor who actually gave me a compliment on my work.  By the time I stopped working (just a few minutes ago) I realized I was late signing on to NF (no shocker there).  It hardly matters though.  I'm not even sure why I booked myself to be on - Friday nights are always slow.  But I'll be signed off in time to go play with my friends.  All this working from home has me desperate for a drink and some face-to-face conversation.  Who knows, I might even get tempted to reach out and touch someone.

[I just realized that my desk chair has somehow lowered itself to its lowest point - maybe someone was playing with it.  I've been sitting at my desk all day wondering why I was so uncomfortable and why my neck was starting to hurt - duh.  There that's better.]

Anyway after I quite work (and then signed on to NF), I turned on the TV so I could veg on the couch for a few minutes and catch my breath.  (Here's the part about dating naked ....)

So VH1 has this show, "Naked Dating" or maybe it was "Dating Naked" - I'm more interested in the concept of the show than the name. 

When I first caught a glimpse of another reality show, "Naked and Afraid," where people venture out into the Amazon jungle naked - well, I really thought that reality TV had finally become desperate for ideas.  I mean - ewww - who would go into a jungle naked?!  Bugs and snakes and reptiles around my nakedness, no thank you.   Red ants?!  Could you just imagine.

"Dating Naked," (or whatever it's called) though was more of a realistic concept - as far as being naked on television goes.  I mean people who date usually get naked at some point, if its going well.  At least I find that a far more viable storyline than being naked in the Amazon.  And yes, people get naked when they're dating, they just don't usually do it before the date - that's where this show had me. 

Can you imagine naked zip lining - in tandem?  Well it happened on this show.  Not only that, but the couple on the date were from my area - the guy was from NJ (bulky good looking guy who left his brains and manners at the gym in Jersey) and a girl from Queens, NY (a place I also know a lot about) who was a total trash-mouth who also had a BA as I call it - a bad attitude.  Needless to say, they didn't hit it off.  But ... the girl was in the front of the zip line and as they came up on the platform, no one bothered to apply the brakes and the girl's face got smashed on a pole.  She had a huge, huge, huge black eye - which (I probably don't have to tell you) made her attitude much, much, much worse.

I think the funniest part though was at the end of the show when they all see if they want to pair off and try to actually date in real life and out of Mr. Hotty from NJ, another Mr. Hotty from Illinois (you know me and Midwest boys), the cute blonde that everyone wanted picked the scrawny geek guy from Los Angeles.  She picked brains over body - on a naked show!  Granted, if there was a body part that won her over, they had it blurred out, so I may be wrong, but I think I'm right.  She even said that it was his taking her aside and telling her that the other two would break her heart, but he never would - aaawwwwww.  

It just goes to show you that my theory holds true:  The brain is the sexiest part of the body.  If you have imagination, smarts, a sense of humor and wit - whatever ... you have a better chance of getting the girl (this girl and the blonde girl on VH1) than some bulked up muscle head with tattoos.  Just thought you'd like to know that.

Well NF was, as I suspected, slow.  So that means more time for me to figure out what I'm wearing.  Probably a shimmery shirt in case I get too happy and spill a martini on myself.  Can't wait to have one (a martini I mean, not a spill).  I don't drink a lot or often, but I have been known to cry over spilled vodka. 

Check out my schedule page to see when you can come and play with me.  :)  Ciao for now.

xxo Ashley

The Honeymooner Myth

Words to Live By

I remember when I was younger and my mother used to say, "A man can work from Sun to Sun, but a woman's work is never done."  I thought she was so clever to come up with such a saying (although I was young and was probably more impressed at the time with the way she made it rhyme as opposed to the actual message).  Later, the words would sink in as I watched her juggle a full-time job and everything else that life encompassed - a marriage, a house, three kids and a dog, to mention a few.

Then one day she sat me down and wanted me to watch a show on TV that she said was a favorite of hers - The Honeymooners.  It was in black and white and at first I thought that our television had broken.  Where was the color?

It was during that show that I heard that famous rhyme again, this time spoken by someone else.  It was one of those "heeeey" moments that made me laugh.  Still, I was always so impressed with her and her energy that I convinced myself that those TV people must have stolen that line from my mom and not the other way around. 

Not a Myth - More Like a Legend
She was an inspiration to me and part of the reason why I think I've not only developed a good work ethic, but a good sense of humor - even through the not-so-great moments that life can often throw our way.  She gave me strength - an inner strength that enables me to weather storms gracefully, to persevere through difficulties with a smile and to not be so hard on myself when things don't go exactly as I had planned.  An invaluable lesson. 

The reason I mention this is because this past week I was so busy and I found it really difficult to juggle and keep up with all of my various obligations, not to mention having to swallow my pride a few times.  We all have those moments when we don't feel completely in control of our lives, but even those moments are only temporary - nothing stays exactly the same forever.  And now I'm back with a vengeance. 

My schedule and my dedication are back on track.  I'll be posting a schedule this Monday - some mornings and some evenings (Sun to Sun).  They'll be time for writing, working, studying as well as time for fun, relaxation and some naughty pleasures as well.

One of my pursuits will also be making time to enjoy the local pool where I plan on finishing up my latest short story, "Tan Lines," which I'll be posting soon.  If you're a VIP, you'll be getting a sneak peak in your email box soon (part of the perks of VIP status).

As for now, it's a semi-sunny Sunday morning that's cool and a bit breezy (weird for July in Jersey) and I'm going to just sit back, finish my morning coffee and enjoy the sound of my wind chimes jingling in the wind - all while I sit and wait for the phone to ring.  Life is good.

xxo Ashley

New Week - New Schedule - and Super Hot Weather

Fourth
I hope everyone had a great Fourth of July!  But just because the Fourth has passed doesn't mean the fireworks have to stop.  The weather this week is hot, hot, hot - which means that aside from a quick trip to the local pool, I'll be staying inside in the AC. 

It's not that I don't like hot weather, but this week is going to be BH - beyond hot - and since there are storms on the way it's also muggy, and if I'm going to work up a sweat, I'd much rather do it indoors in the vertical position (or other positions come to mind too).

Schedule
While I'm trying to juggle jobs, obligations and various projects I have in the works, I've really tried to make time for NF - at least 6 days a week and sometimes 7.  I try to accommodate everyone's schedules - so there are some morning hours and some evening hours - and then of course weekend morning ('cause who doesn't want to wake up and get busy on the weekends - duh!).

If you'd like to check out my schedule for this week, click here, and hopefully you'll find a day/time that works with your schedule.  Of course, you can always email me on NF to see if I'll be around on a specific day/time - if it works for me, then I'll email you back and we'll have a date!

Well, it's a bit slow this morning - I'm sure that a lot of people are on vacation this week, but I'm hoping that enough of you are around to keep me busy.   For some reason I'm so much more playful in summer - must be the lack of clothes.  In a fashion sense, clothes can be fun, but when it comes to playing I want to be naked so I can feel every inch of you on every inch of me - yum!   That is of course when I'm not indulging in my favorite fetish - feeling your probing hands caress my body through some soft, silky or lacy clothes (tee hee).

Well I'm off to the other half of my computer to write more and check emails and do all that fun stuff.  I hope you call to "distract" me :).

xxo Ashley

Slow Thunderous Night

It's a shame you know ... there's nothing hotter (to me anyway) than getting frisky during a good thunder and lightning storm, especially when the lights get knocked out (i bet that's where the term knocked-up came from ... well maybe not).

But I guess that's just me, 'cause (cricket, cricket, cricket) it's been pretty damn quite on NF tonight.  Then again, I know it's Fourth of July week (didn't it start out as just a day?) and people are on vacation because technically they only have to use four days of vacation.  Yes, I do remember the 9-to-5 life. 

Anyway, I'm signing off a little early today - think I'll sit back and enjoy the thunderous sound of my buzzy toy ... in bed ... all alone. 

Hopefully, someone will get bored on vacation (like Thursday morning) and decide they need a little "Kink."  Well, you know where to find me.

Ciao for now.

Got Time for a Few Fireworks?

Ah, the Fourth of July

I'm sure a lot of you (myself included) have plans for swimming, sunning, barbequing and doing all the fun things associated with summer and Independence Day, but I'm also sure that when you're relaxed and kicking back you're thinking of sex.  I know I am.

Sex is a great stress reliever and certainly it can get your mind off of any pressing problems, but did you know that when you're already relaxed, sex can be even more enjoyable?  I'm sure you knew that already, but I just thought I'd remind you that I'm here for you whenever you have the urge to purge that stress or enhance your relaxed you're feeling.  So let's make a few fireworks together.

While I'm here, I'd like to take the time to thank all of my birthday well-wishers.  Between my birthday and the Fourth of July - this is absolutely one of my favorite weeks of the year - the only thing that could make it better is if I get to celebrate with you.

xxo  Ashley

More on Being a Mermaid

An Ocean on Land

Yesterday, while at my local pool, I noticed something familiar.

I like to dive deep into the water and swim beneath the surface - it's the mermaid in me I guess.  Just beneath the surface you can escape what I call "pool buzz," where people big and small are splashing and screaming and dishing out the latest gossip.  I love the water and the quiet - swimming for me is the most peaceful thing you can do - ever.

While I swam from one end of the pool to the other underwater, navigating kicking kids and entwined lovers and people jumping into the water feet first like torpedoes, I noticed myself smiling in a way I haven't felt for almost a year.  I was happy.

I noticed something else, my eyes weren't itchy when I surfaced, as they usually are due to my allergy to chlorine.  It's a bearable allergy, and even if it weren't, I would still endure it because the price of not being able to swim would be too high a price for me to pay.

I licked my lips, and didn't taste chlorine either, but still the taste was familiar.  It wasn't like the ocean - salty like a good margarita.  It wasn't tasteless either, but it was familiar.  I had felt this once before while swimming in a lakeside pool in South Carolina - a beautiful spot that I'll never forget.  It was the commercial version of a salt water pool.

Mermaids are very happy in salt water.  It not only attracts the Sun, giving your skin a nice glow, it makes your hair plump up like a super model who has spent hours in the stylist's chair and it's a far better feeling than swimming through a pool of chemicals that ruin your best suits or bleach your hair.  It makes me happy that even though my apartment complex leaves a lot to be desired, they had the good sense to switch from chlorine to salt. 

Well, I hope you're not disappointed that there were no sexual overtones to this post. Although if you use your imagination, the idea of meeting a mermaid could be hot, especially if she were the kind of mermaid who upon becoming beached, transforms into a leggy, bikini-clad girl with a thirst for adventure.

I just wanted to share my feel-good feeling with you - the feeling I get when I'm swimming (which is right up there with the feeling I get when I'm getting wet while playing on land).  It's not quite the same, but equally as pleasing.

I won't be around much today - time for more fun in the sun and a trip to my friend's pool to celebrate another birthday.  I'm not quite sure why we celebrate birthdays and the whole getting older thing, but it is a great excuse to get away from work, have fun, goof-off and if we're lucky, graciously accept gifts and well-wishes. 

I'm sure while I'm out with my girlfriends though that we'll share some stories about our latest dating escapades, which can sometimes be translated into a good story and maybe into a fun role-play.  So if you think about it - you benefit by my absence.  Plus, I come back to NF feeling refreshed, renewed and very, very happy - and that can benefit you as well.  Win-win.

Sorry if I missed you this morning, but as you know, I'll be back soon.  Also, I'll be posting my new schedule for the coming week either tonight or tomorrow (you know that means tomorrow), and I hope you find time in your schedule where we can come together.

Ciao for now.
xxo Ashley

Finding Ms. Ashley

Slinky Saturday

After an almost full day recovering from several pre-birthday celebrations, I feel rested and relaxed today.

I started my Saturday morning with a bit of NF fun (what better way to start the day!) and if the morning is any indication of the day to come ... or the weekend to come, it looks like it's going to be a fun couple of days.

My BFF has a date tonight (I don't :( - at least so far), so it's quite possible that I'll be around this evening.

Of course today, after NF and doing a few things around the house, I'll be heading to the pool, which is finally open - geez they really make you wait.  I'm hell-bent on regaining that tan that I had almost year-round while living down south.  Time to break out my new, unworn "birthday bikini."  

Mermaid Fantasy

For as long as I could remember, my birthday wish was always to be a mermaid.

Honestly I love swimming - if I could be a mermaid, I might consider it.  I'm happiest when I'm floating in water and swimming.  I love getting out of the pool and feeling the heat of the Sun on my skin.  I usually wait until my hair is almost dry and that's usually my signal that it's a good time to get back in the water. 

The only setback I could think of about being a mermaid is that I wouldn't have any legs to spread or throw over someone's shoulders - so I guess I'd like to be a mermaid kind of like Darryl Hannah in "Splash," the movie.  When she got out of water, she materialized legs.

Legs on land, flipper in the water ... yeah I could do that for sure.  You know I'd be out traveling far and wide in search of boats full of naughty sailors ... speaking languages I don't understand and really, would I care?  I'm not as interested in their conversation as I would be in their ... (tee hee) ... cocks.

For now though, I'll just be trolling the store, NF and of course the local pool.  It should be an interesting day/night - hopefully.

Of course, I'm not scheduled to be on tonight, but I think it's looking like a distinct possibility that I will be on (unless something happens while I'm out, of course).

I hope if you're around that you'll join me.

xxo 

About Last Night ...

A Failure to Launch

No, it's not like you're thinking - the failure to launch doesn't refer to a date I had last night - although that kind of does explain where I was.

My birthday is coming up in a few days and being that my friends are scattered all over the place with obligations and schedules of their own, I've been trying to fit in the few people who asked to spend my birthday with me.  Last night it was my girlfriends.

Out of a group of five of us, three were in town - so the Three Musketeers went out and had a little fun.  Honestly, it was just supposed to be an "early dinner."  Both of these girls are married - it was a weekday, and so when I added it all up in my head, I figured and "early dinner" also meant an "early night."

Well, that was another lesson in why we should never ASS-U-ME. 

I guess the fun part of life is allowing for a few surprises once in a while.  My girls surprised me with dinner at a place I'd never been before, which also happened to be a bar - one that served really good martinis.

Needless to say, we had a lot of fun and it was a much longer night than I anticipated.  Sometimes you have the most fun when it's least expected.

However, this morning was no picnic.  I woke up late, and that meant my day started off in a panic.

I had to use my brain, but the one I was working with had been turned to a throbbing mush - my first hangover in a long time. 

It's now 2pm and although I've gotten through most of my assignments for the day, I'm scheduled to sign onto NF at 3pm - that is after I get my ass to the store for some aspirin. 

What I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry I wasn't able to be around last night, and ... I may be a little later than expected today.  I plan on ripping off my clothes and jumping back into bed after I take those aspirin.  Meaning, it's probably going to be prime time to catch me in bed - naked and basically helpless.  So, if you'd like to take advantage of my weakened state, this afternoon would be the time.

I was thinking of playing hooky again and going to the pool - it turned out to be such a nice day, but being that I lost my sunglasses last night (heaven knows where) - I doubt I'll be happy in the blazing Sun.  No, I think a cool, dark bedroom is more my cup of tea for the day.

It' a nice roomy bed, with a good hard mattress - great for sleeping - even better for a little fun!  Hope you'll join me.

I'm never too tired (or hungover) to get naughty.  In fact, it's my birthday - and you'll probably want to give me exactly what I'm asking for ... a really good schtooping to knock this hangover into oblivion. 

See you soon. 

TGIF Night

Blowing Off Some Steam

It's Friday night and you may be wondering why my schedule has such odd hours posted on it for today, or why I'm even signed-on on a Friday at all. 

Well I just need to blow of some steam and get out tonight.  I wanna dress-up, go out, get down and party and maybe (if I get tipsy enough) even let someone in.  Basically I feel like branching out in all directions today.  I'm giving partial credit for my Friday excursion to this fabulous weather.  It's sunny, a fabulous 72 degrees and there's a wonderful breeze blowing in the un-humid air.  The rest of the credit goes to my ridiculously tireless jumble of a schedule.  All work and no play makes Ashley ... cranky and no fun.

So, really if you think about it, my going out tonight is something I'm doing for you (like how I turned that around?). 

Besides, I know you don't want anything to do with a cranky, no-fun Ashley, and I certainly prefer to be happy go-lucky (what the heck does "go-lucky" mean anyway?), and feeling refreshed and revived. 

That's why I'm putting on my shortest, tightest dress, my highest heels, my best perfume and maybe a few wrist bangles (I call them wolf calls) and having fun. 

Part of me knows I shouldn't get too excited,  It always turns out to be a dud of a night when you're wanting a full-on party (and the opposite holds true as well), so I'll shut up now before I jinx myself - right after I tell you that I can almost taste that dirty martini now. 

The olives will serve as dinner, the alcohol covers everything else.  I'm not a huge drinker, but I don't think I have to tell you that when I do something, I give it my all.

So, if you miss me today, let's wake up together tomorrow.  :)  

 

Pre-Weekend Quiet

Hmm ... Where is Everyone?

[Cricket, cricket, cricket]
If you're looking for me tonight - Thursday night, I just signed off of NF.  It wasn't completely quiet, but the ring-to-cricket ratio was steadily increasing in the crickets' favor. 

Math may not be my thing, but even a lil' ol' PSO can do that kind of math.

This is one of those reasons why sometimes you may not find me "on "when I say I'll be on, just as there are times when I have a little extra time and a little extra urge to play and I'll sign on even when my schedule says I'll be gone.  Surprise!

I know ... I get it.  The benefits of a schedule are not lost on me (yes that was directed at you - you schedule lovers), but sometimes the universe has other ideas.  If I was really good at math, I think I could probably come up with some sort of "uni-flex schedule" that fluctuates based on the needs and wants of people and the universal mood meter (since no one seems to be in the mood tonight but me).

(And the audience sighs, "Awww.")  Okay, that's the end of my pity party.  Tee hee.

Ya' Talking to Me?

Ha, ha - I just love saying stuff like that; I'm goofy like that.  Plus no one can say that like a New Yorker, right?

If you are, in fact looking to talk to me - I'll keep my NF window open until my scheduled time (11pm).  If you're in the mood for some "Kink" then I'll be checking my email looking for a little "wink" from you.

I'll be back tomorrow if I missed you (Friday 3pm-8pm).  Ciao for now...

Crazy Weather - What Not to Wear

Hotties in Hoodies

So the weather here has been a little nuts.  Just yesterday it was 82 degrees or more and in the afternoon it got super humid.  We had about 7 seconds of rain and then it got cold.   Today, it's about 25 degrees cooler than the the high of yesterday, which I found out as soon as I opened my front door to go out.  My arms were actually cold; I was shocked.  I had to run back in and grab one of my hoodies and throw it over my tank top. 

Speaking of hoodies.  I was talking with not just one, but two people, in totally unrelated conversations and the subject of hoodies came up in passing.  Both were guys and both said, "I love girls in hoodies."  Really?

I didn't realize that hoodies were considered hot?  To me, it's what I throw on when I'm dressed down, feeling chilly but not chilly enough for a jacket, or to wear to the store or the beach.  Most girls do.  Most girls wear "hoodies" with the matching pants or they pair it with some yoga pants. 

There's another piece of clothing that has come up in conversation - and another piece that I'm told is "hot."  Yoga pants, huh.

Couture for Amor

Honestly, if I had ever been told the "hot workout gear" stories earlier, I might have saved a lot of money on outfits of the less-sporty type - not to mention the shoes; those five-inch heels are killer on a girls feet.  I usually refer to them as my "sitting shoes," 'cause that's about all they're good for.  Well that and they do look hot upside down in the air (tee hee).

Don't get me wrong, wearing sexy clothes makes you feel good inside and out, and wearing lingerie underneath is what I consider "hot," but honestly, it's not always that comfortable.  You guys haven't really got a clue when it comes to the pains us girls go through just to look good.

Truth be told, half the time us girls wear that stuff just so you'll rip it off! 

That is what I call a two-prong solution  1) the bone-lined corset gets tossed on the floor, and you can resume normal breathing, and 2) you both can get down to business and have some fun and maybe even orgasm your ass off. 

Everyone wins!

Happy Memorial Day

And the Unofficial First Day of Summer Begins

Memorial Day practically eclipses the Summer Solstice - I mean, once the pool is open, it's basically summer, right?

This is the one day this week that I'm actually going to an official Memorial Day Party and I'm excited.  Times have sure changed ... people used to go away on Memorial Day, but it seems that the streets here are as crowded as always.  I used to smell 24/7 barbeques outside on this weekend, but not this year.  I'm sure that half of my neighbors don't even know what this holiday is about. but c'mon, everyone loves barbeque, no?

What I do know that it usually means to most people is three days off from work.  There's a reason to celebrate on its own.  What it means to me is all the girls go shopping to catch all those big sales and they leave the men at home - free to mow the lawn, put their feet up on the patio furniture and of course, they're free to pick up the phone to call me for some hot, sneaky, taboo sex.

I love hot, sneaky and taboo ...

I've already visited my friend's pool; it was open last week.  It was the coolest thing that was made up more like a movie set pool than a typical swimming pool.  I find it incredible what creativity goes into the latest in background patterns and stones and all.  I wonder how many of you guys say, "I want to grow up and create marvelous places for chicks in bikinis to swim."  Haha ... Well I bet the guy who invented my friend's pool never thought, "I want to grow up and create unique pools where chicks will stretch out naked and let me take pics of them," but that's what happened at my friend's house.  He designed this pool and the least I could do was celebrate his creativity (and christen his pool). 

I swear I would be a mermaid if I had a choice - except ... I'd wouldn't have legs to spread - that would be a problem for me.

How could I resist this pool?  If someone came by daily to play with me and feed me, I'd probably live in here. 

I just plastered this page on my newly revamped listings (still a work in progress, but they have to be a working work in progress - so please be patient with me).  I got hot and horny just taking the pic - of course, what happened afterwards was fun too.  It's quite possible that I have a new MP3 coming to describe it (cliff hanger).

So before I get dressed for my party, and while the girl in your life is out with your credit card, take some time for yourself ... call me.  Let's play and celebrate the day in our own way. 

It'll be our little secret.  Ssshhhhhh.

Unofficial Start of Summer

I wrote this post last night - and poof the electricity went out.  Now imagine that reading the post - kinda scary.

Memorial Day - I can official wear white

 

 Happy Memorial Day Weekend Boys!

I'm sitting here in my nightie with the back sliding door wide open - the fresh, cool air feels refreshing.  It's warm enough to ditch the winter clothes and cool enough to just feel good.  Thank goodness there isn't too much traffic through my backyard - anyone walking by would certainly get an eyeful, but since my door is facing the woods I feel fairly ... well ... free to be me.

I'm certainly glad that the weekend is here (as I'm sure you are too). 

I took a break from my hectic schedule this week long enough to take advantage of the few hours of sunshine this week to get in the spring/summer mood. 

Yes, me, Ashley hauled her tight jeaned ass to the hardware store and picked up a big old bag of mulch, a big old bag of potting soil, a few pots and some flowers.

BTW - I'm happy to say that I've finally - once and for all - come to grips with the whole "annual and perennial" question that I tackle each year around this time.

It was hard to wrap my brain around how something called an "annual" wouldn't come back yearly.  I feel sorry for anyone learning English as a second language - it's enough to boggle an English-speaking brain sometimes. 

I'm really not the farming/landscaping kind of girl - I'm more of a beach/city kind of girl.  Unless it's a chance to get busy with a strapping farm hand, you probably won't find Ashley walking "amongst the rows."  I despise bugs and dirt just leaps onto my nice clothes - and yeah, no, that's not me. 

Still, barring the ability to call a landscaping company to come in and spruce up my sprawling property, I decided to dig in and make my view something I actually wanted to view.  My modest apartment patio is now something that actually makes me smile. 

I can't say that the whole annual/perennial thing was worth debating or figuring out - I'm hoping not to be here next year to see those annually-sprouting perennials, but it would be nice to leave my little mark on this portion of the world.  Maybe someone else will appreciate my effort ts down the road. 

But speaking of efforts (and leaving a mark or spot somewhere - like on the sheets) I'll be around for a bit just admiring the view and ... yep, here it comes again, listening to the rain, waiting for you to call. 

If we miss each other though, I hope you have a great (and fun) weekend.  And if someone gets you to celebrate the weekend by digging in the dirt and beautifying  your surroundings, just think about how much they'll appreciate it ... not just then, but every day they get to see their little section of Zen.  Make someone happy - they just may return the favor (over and over again).

xxo Ashley

Lights Out

While I was posting to this blog ... and explaining how peaceful it was to have the sliding glass door open listening to the night sounds, the rain and admiring my potting abilities (plants in a pot that is), the lights went out.

Gotta' tell ya' - it's a bit scary, and I don't scare easily.

I had to switch to the hotspot on my iPhone to get internet access - and I missed a call because my modem runs on electricity.  I'm telling you this is the kind of stuff that scary stories are made of. 

Luckily being a savvy girl - I have internet and phone as long as the batteries last.  But if I missed you tonight, be sure to call this weekend if you can get away from the fray.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend Boys.

xxo Ashley